Following your dreams NO regrets part III backtracked :)

I have debated with myself wether i should include a more insight on my following my dreams segments, I completed part I & II but I feel it was a little hollow........:) Where I decided to begin my story will give you insight to my teenage years to now. my younger years deserves its own story :) Since I can remember my view to life was simple..... "believe in yourself" never say NO I can't, and live  with love and love in return.

I met a young south African boy with a strong accent.  How we met was crazy I was 18, partying and going out almost every weekend to the club to get our dance on with my friends!!  thats all that clubs meant for us back in my day, we just loved to dance , and of course help ourselves to some alcohol to get the spirits moving!!  lol  We are Legal to drink and club at 18 in Aussie :)  On one of our nights out we were indecisive as to what club we wanted to go to, I was with my long time friend Daria (we met in 2nd grade) (miss you much too) we were practically club hopping I believe, we eventually made it to "Madness" and  as we were making our way up the stairs, I  could of sworn I knew the dude standing at the top of the stairs who at the very same time was looking right at me with a big ol smile!!  lol  anyways I go to the top of the stairs said hello with a kiss on the cheek (as we all do back home) and when we parted and I  had him 5 inches away from sight I realized I did NOT know this guy from a bar of soap!! I can't forget that moment I took my hand out of his and ran down the stairs, and all I heard was "Wait" "Wait"....  lol  I grabbed my friends hand and we ran off!!   too funny... anyways  the following week I went back to Madness with another friend this time I was not intoxicated...:O I was outside grabbing fresh air, and I saw some more friends etc, One particular friend "Adrian" introduced me to his friend "Neil"....  I felt myself flush with embarrassment!!  I mustn't of been that far gone last week, cause this was the very same guy I kissed on the cheek!!....  and then began my adventure with Neil :)  cut a looonnggg story short....  at the age of 21 on the 26th of January 1996, my beautiful Daughter Janika was Born. 2 months preemie, but strong as a fiddle!! it was my 22nd birthday 4 days later, I like to think she was my birthday gift :) life was good, it brought me ups and downs, being a new young parent, but it also taught me many lessons.   We got engaged later.....It wasn't till Janika was at the ripe age of 2 years old that tragedy hit our humble home, our lives would be different for ever. Again I was faced with a hard emotional journey, enduring what ever was thrown at me without knowledge on how to deal with it all.   Neil Passed away in my arms from an asthma attack, whilst Janika sat and watched her father go to sleep and her mother break apart in every which way possible!!  We both were suffering from asthma at the very same moment sharing the ventolin inhaler..... but it was Neil that god wanted.  He was a great father for the little time he had with his daughter he cherished her and loved her more than words could ever describe!!   This was a very hard time for me, I did not know how to grieve and be brave at the same time, I did not know how to be a strong mother it was all too much for me to handle at the beginning...  I endured the hardship of being a single mother, accepting the consequences, the NOW I felt alone, at one point I hated to look at my beautiful Janika because she was the mirror image and character of her father, I have never in my life ever knew what grieving was, but I didnt break!!  with the help of my beautiful friends , you all know who you are, I certainly do and I will and have never forgotten you all made such a positive impact in my life "Thank you"...and my family of course. without my loved ones I know it would of taken me a lot longer to heal and regain the inner strength to keep going. I went right back to work after 2 weeks... and through myself into work like Ive never before!!  keeping my mind busy and working was the first step to a better me, which would lead to a better mommy.  Janika would go to her grandparents every 2nd weekend, and I found myself alone many times.....:(  It was then my night life re-emerged..... dancing began again, socializing, and planning parties and enjoying life again.......when I had Janika home very other weekend I would plan day outings, or visit friends and let her have fun with the other children and so forth, life was good..... but I still had a void.... an emptiness I could not shake off.......:( I dealt with the emotional side of things I kept on moving forward

It took me 5 years to see that I needed a change , I needed to see new things, experience new faces, experience another world, get out of my comfort zone and explore. maybe this is what I needed to fill that void?  who knew!!   I was unsure of where my life was going, I spent 5 years searching for something that just never showed up. I did not want or need to have a man in my life as far as I was concerned.   I accepted it was time for my new journey to begin.  myself and Janika!!  it was our time to shine.   I Believed in me, always had, just needed to rediscover that part of me again.  I took the leap, I had faith and I believed that  my accomplishments will be a reflection on how hard I am willing to work for it, and how "willing" I was to find it.  I packed 3 suitcases, without a plan, without a single person to rely on, and I journeyed across the seas with  Janika who now was 7, we did some sight-seeing, we bumped our heads, we met wonderful people along the way, I even met a cousin I never knew, 2 months into our trip we arrived in Whittier CA and stayed with my new found cousin.

Whittier , was the place to where I met new friends and unexpectedly  my new adventures had began.

Stay tuned for Part III :)

In the meantime I want to leave you with a cherished memory for Janika & I  with her daddy.

Janika & Daddy